Archive for June 18, 2010

It Won’t Be So Long .

Posted: June 18, 2010 in Uncategorized

First day of the foolish decision i made, life just seems so dull, the phone which will ring every other minute became silently through the whole day and whole night.. keypad lock and keypad unlock here and then to see any msg in but the phone wont just ring abit, battery were still more then half full, its just like a jigsaw puzzle gone missing a little tiny piece that would complete the whole puzzle beautifully. Where has that piece of puzzle gone missing to? Suddenly to wake up from a beautiful dream that whacks you back to the reality is really not used to it and really not in the mood of it. Thinking back why will we choose this? because of one selfishness or other party of unwillingness, the complicated heart issues still hangs on inside my brain. It’s just like 明知山有虎,偏向虎山行 , surely know the end will be a dead but still choose the dead end. We cant really choose our own destiny our own emotions and our own feelings, but for sure i know what’s my path were for, what’s the mission and vision i had for the future, and all my future consist of you and you were always part of plan and best you were always the one who gave me the energy to work hard.

The 7am clock ticks today again, i woke up at 650am, the phone was at my hand the 8 numbers were so easily dial just like how we dial 999, some things were just like a daily routine that you usually do and one day u had to stop doing it what will your life will be? will it be like the feeling of constipation if you didn’t get to shit for one day? the feeling is just so pain in the heart like the pain in the butt. Sometimes when you really feel so into the party you just cant replacement for it, because to me she were never replaceable in any of the moments in my life. Getting used to the joy and laughter and vulgarities, now in a deserted island with the vacuum is the only companion beside me, the laughter for one minute suddenly disappear and i really regret never got the chance to record it.

Surely life is full of regrets, selfishness, and usually we regrets our selfishness and a moment of adrenaline rush but to me that was not the first time, i do not want to lose you, but losing you away is just the matter of time, it’s been alot of contradicting  puipui inside my head, but who do i answer to? how do i react to the problems? i don’t want the cycle to go through again and again and again to leave your life and appear again and so on and so on, maybe its a true hard fact that a 2 can never match a 10, the only 2 and 10 i saw before was the beauty and the beast. If our life was a fairytale… i hope the it will be the beauty and the beast.

now its the unwilling endurance of the me, it has never cross my mind that you will be out of my life, somehow i just hope 170612 arrive faster, seems like i was just enlisted to army again yesterday. 2 years.. 730 days.. 17280hours… as for minutes it will be retarded to go count it. Anything can happen in 2 years but my love for u can never end in 2 years, it will be a way of travel not a destination, it will never stop and it will always go on and on and on and on… and i hope in 2 years time i can be the correct one. Amen.

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more

I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I’ll never criticize
All you’ve ever meant to my life

I don’t want to let you down
I don’t want to lead you on
I don’t want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can’t live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There’s nothing left to say but good-bye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I’m not sure I’m worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised
I just can’t live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There’s nothing left to try
Though it’s gonna hurt us both
There’s no other way than to say good-bye

I love you.. 3 years before or now i’m still loving you,
2 years down the road i will be still loving you
and til the end of my life i hope you were the only 1 that i will loved so much before.
My love for you can never end with a D only with an ING…

Goodbye . I wrote this with tears in my eyes and hurt in the heart so please pardon me…….