Loves me, loves me not

Posted: August 14, 2010 in Uncategorized

Driving back in a rainy midnight and somehow just couldn’t drive home so decided to roam around some places and kind of feeling emo and just roam until i got home, just reached home and i started to play I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing, for at least 15 times already.

Today I realized and understood a lot of stuffs, there is good and bad and i realized too that what’s stopping you, to me is definitely a good news and how other people were much 10000000000 times better then me, because no matter what i do, i always feels i’m the worst of all.

Maybe being lonely without anyone besides me gave me more room to think of something and i just hope to get it done by tomorrow and may i pray for a successful trip for me. It may be a little mad to do but who doesn’t love surprise? Good surprise bad surprise its always up to the party to decide. Maybe i really don’t know really what i am doing is correct or wrong.

today i felt so useless, maybe i’m really a very bored and dull guy, i couldn’t do much to let people feel happy and energetic, it’s like… being beside me was a real damm dull life one would have and tiredness is the main topic everyday with me. maybe i couldn’t compare to other better opportunity or greater saints outside. Think back i really feels like a clown who can’t even make someone smile, that’s real pathetic of me i guess so beware of me.

“every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure”

That’s why i captured and treasured every moment because i don’t know when i’m gotta leave for your own good again, i guess might be fast because god is really very kind to me for the past few months already, i guess the ending point would be the end of 2010? or maybe earlier if things still don’t goes my way? So just enjoyed being pampered before all the sweet moments ends. Me too i’m enjoying.

I was thinking what if that night i just walked away.. how my life will be now? will your life be more lively and more colorful? Shit i just felt that i’m so useless for a split of seconds! I could just simple choose to walk away and never to appear again but i really don’t know why i choose the other way. Now it’s becoming don’t know it’s a good or bad decision? Why tonight got so many good and bad things to think of leh????

Who knows if i really disappear, you will feel happier and livelier, really cannot reach a moment that when everything it’s becoming a habit and there will be the time where all the problems will surface out. Did i really do wrong by going searching high and low for u?

So just cherish and treasure for the moment because for the next very moment, you will not know what will happen..

i’m just with some competitors playing in a snake and ladder game, i just hope to reach the 100 mark and wins the game but no matter how hard i threw the dice, how good i climb the stairs, in the end the snakes will still pull me down so i could never be able to win the game, the only way to stop is to forfeit it.

ok it seems chiminology to some people. I think getting a sleep will be good for me now, but do you think i can sleep in peace tonight without going to think of anything??? If you know me well, you are sure to know that i will be having nightmare later~ So let me share with you my nightmare tomorrow~! 🙂

Goodnight to this tired and boring world.

2 points.

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