Chances & Hope

Posted: December 24, 2013 in Uncategorized

Suddenly it feels like hmm 10 years has passed and hmm its just 6 months has passed.

6 months of not having her beside me, nearly 4 months of not seeing her or getting any of her news, and i finally saw her again on the very special day – My Birthday.

Its pretty amazed that i could actually went down from orchard to fullerton hotel in like less then 3 mins after i hang up the call just to rush and see her on my birthday and suddenly i feels that there’s nothing more important for me to see her on my birthday as i guess that’s my birthday wish, so well i can said its a dream come true for me?
And for the next few days beautiful future just appear in my mind, my dream or even everything i sees i see future, only happy future.

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i think its good for people who believe that love is worth one more try.
So couples out there who still love each other so much without any 3rd party intruding, please give it one more try because love is really an amazing thing that can creates wonders and miracle. But definitely it takes 2 hands to clap and both party got to work hard hand in hand to let the try become a success.

Always take note that a best gift from a girl to the guy its her trust she can give him and the best gift a guy could give a girl its the loyalty of his heart to her.
ALL COUPLES SHOULD MEMORIZE THIS HARD AND APPLY IT INTO THEIR LOVE LIFE.

Guess this 26th birthday and Xmas is really not a good period for me, first time in 3 years that my birthday is so empty and i guess it will be an empty xmas too for me.

But that won’t stop me from giving people small little gift because its a festive season to give unconditionally 🙂

Ending,

It’s quite awesome when people asked me everytime: Why you still using this lousy Blackberry? Especially when i turn on my 3G network and confirm guarantee the phone will dead and showed empty battery within 30mins of usage even the battery is fully charged. And now my phone is also charging beside me while i’m blogging because i turned on the 3G network.

And its hard to tell people that i dont want to change phone because there were this very beautiful girl who sent me a text on 12/5/2010 telling me to keep that message and thus since then i have being using this pathetic phone until now until i still dont feel like changing because the text message will be gone if i were to change to a new phone.

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And that’s the reason why i still keep this phone and saved this message.

I still dont really feel like changing this phone away, this text message is super valuable to me.

1 more week to 2014, hope i have the time to come and bullshit my 2014 resolution.

We are not broken, just bent we can learn to love again.

Sometimes…. Love…. Just…. Ain’t…. Enough……

Posted: September 17, 2013 in Uncategorized

I guess the sms sent has been too harsh, too nasty and too bad. I really wish i could apologize to you. I’m sorry to you.

I know that no matter how much of apology is also useless in any ways as i believe there’s really no more ways we could work things out again.
I feel that I shouldn’t tie you anymore to me since there were much more better guys than me appearing in your life. I had once promised you that i will surely walk down the life with you, but when there’s someone trying to walk into our life and door were opened for him, i will take my place and leave you so that you can be a happier girl being with the someone else.

7 years of awaiting, from the 2nd boyfriend i have always been waiting, waiting for miracle to come, i wait and wait for the 3rd one, i didn’t give up on you, i wait til the 4th one, i nearly gave up, you appear in my life again. I am the 5th and things weren’t always so well for us. we broke up we drifted away and we came back again, 2nd broke up we drifted out so much. I did wrongful things to you, i know i can never be forgiven but you still forgave me. I knew that i really had to work hard for the next 1 year to prove myself a good guy to you, holding on to the only hope that could bring us back together again. I know single means you can do whatever you want without any obligations, i understand your feelings that since not together there’s no why you shouldn’t hang out with different guys although some are just brothers or normal friends only, problem is you never know where’s the line of friends and crush.

On that very night, i asked you a very simple question, to leave with me or him, you choose him over me. At that very moment i can just feel my heart is dead, never did you ever will want to treat me this way, never did i expect you to tell me that answer. You told me you didn’t know what you want, you don’t even know you still love me, further on you showed me how enjoyable your life is when all other guys can satisfies your cravings, pamper you like a small little princess and treats you so much better and even know what you want to eat and drink more than I do, that’s when i knew that giving up the last hope is the only thing i can do for you.

I know that i am not a good guy either, always say you, assume you and scolded you. I delivered flowers to Vernette which caused a major upset to you. Yes I do get jealous easily but that’s purely I just too love you, I was scared to lose you. I worked so hard, do so much just to please you. I may do alot of stupid things to make you angry or make you dislike me. I may be poor and not as rich as your friends’ boyfriend. I may not be as handsome as the guy you always wanted, I am lacking the charisma and a nice fit body who you always wanted me to have. I may not be the ideal guy that you want, but all i always wanted to let you know is that no matter how negative i am, how ugly i am, how poor i am, how fat i am, I always and will only puts you as my priority and only prioritize you.

As much as i would like to express my heartfelt for you, I really hope you can go out and find your white knight who you will love as much as he loves you. I really wish you all the best in your future and I believe that a sweet, loving, caring, pretty girl will never be hard to find the ideal guy you always want, maybe that guy has already appeared in your life pampering you right now while i am sitting here thinking of you. Be it hate me or forgive me it’s no longer an important thing for me to know it anymore.

After the letter has been signed, everything will be back to 7 years ago when we were just really a strangers when we first met at the fish spa in Chinatown. I don’t see any hope or any chance that we could be together ever again because frankly speaking, my heart has really died on that friday night when you give me that answer, i really don’t know how to love a girl anymore. 2nd unsuccessful broken relationship for me, a painful lesson to me and there all my confidence lost again. I really don’t dare to fall in love anymore, the phobia will always be there for me.

there’s this saying:
相聚离开 都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽

Nothing last forever, be it together or separated.

I’m really sorry as a failure to be the perfect boyfriend you always wanted in me during this 3 years. And I’m sorry for all the wrongdoings i do to you to make you cry every time. I’m sure the next guy will only make you smile and be the perfect guy for you.

I wouldn’t say i love you this 3 words to you again, but i would like to say Thank You for giving so much good memories, all these will always stay and remained in my heart.
谢谢你 Miss J, 对不起 Miss J.

Stay a happy little cheerful girl because you are the sunshine to the guy who once loved you.

I don’t want to lose you
but I don’t want to use you
just to have somebody by my side. I don’t want to hate you,
I don’t want to take you
but I don’t want to be the one to cry.

And that don’t really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there’s a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don’t want to blame you.
Baby, you don’t have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something’s gonna change.

And there’s no way home
when it’s late at night and you’re all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there’s a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart they can’t touch.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain’t enough.

Baby, sometimes, love… it just ain’t enough.

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Posted: September 12, 2013 in Uncategorized

Today should be a happy and joyous day, but never do i expect it to be the worst day of my life. How worst could a day like today happened to me?
I really didn’t expect to hear this type of things so fast, as in i really have not prepared myself to see the best for her and the worst for me. Maybe it’s time to finally move on from where i have always stood there, standing there awaiting for her no matter what happens, but this time after i get to hear what i didn’t what to hear the most. I knew the answer was to let it go and to leave no matter what the future might be for it to be better or worst for her or perhaps for us.

3 years of waiting, 3 years of holding all come to an end today.

There’s nothing much else left to be said, there’s nothing much else has to be done. What can be done, i had already done it. What needs to be done, i also fulfilled it already.

After a 2 serious setback relationship, I don’t think i still have the courage to fall in love anymore.

I really hope the next girl i find in my life can just be a simple not complicated girl who knows the minimum in her heart that she loves me and she really loves me.
But after this time, do i still believe in true love and really can make myself to fall in love again?

I really hope she can find the guy she really fancy, Be with the guy she really loves and loves the guy as much as the guy loves her.

I have really done all what i can do for you, the rest of the things you want in a guy i hope the next guy can provide for you.

Off i go, to leave you, for the good for the both of us.

You will be the woman i love the most. Thanks for the lesson you gave me for the past 3 years and everything, every moment spent with you will always be the bitter sweet memories for me. 谢谢你。。

为你弹奏肖邦的夜曲,纪念我死去的爱情。

回忆。。

Posted: September 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

我不是不再爱那个女孩了,而是那个女孩已经变成一个我不会爱的人了。。

如果你不再出现
我的世界 还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验 什么叫永远

想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁

我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯 早已经全都熄灭

如果你从没出现
我会不会 觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁

想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁

我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯 早已经全都熄灭

I guess i received back a well deserved punishment already, life is fair and i really had to accept my punishment and those heartbreaking incident that happened to me. Never did i feel so sad before.. never never.. my heart still sinks since last Friday when i was at the club, i had to tell myself everything is over when she choose someone who is not me to go back with. I knew that at that point everything has changed and things had ended without a trace.

Did my mistakes makes her changed so much so until she is no longer the same girl i knew? Or that’s her true self but had to cover up because she knew me? I’m puzzled..

Outside world are always so tempting, filled with temptations, the friends you hang out with, the accompany you received. If there’s no limit and there’s no a stop line to draw in between how far can we go and learn when need to show a ‘stop’ sign to the temptations out there, i believe everyone will be happier.

going 7 years of loving the same girl over and over again, it’s time to pack up all the broken pieces that was left behind and move on to another phase of life. I know that everything is impossible since that night, i knew that after what i witness i have to accept it because that was a karma and punishment for me. I don’t think i can love another person again as much as i do for you, i know that i won’t be able to spend the next 7 years again for someone who still don’t know what she wants. I will just go with my plan B.

On a side note, after working in UPS for nearly a year, I have finally got promoted to a Territory Account Manager which is quite a good position for me to advance my career in the future. Really thanks all the support i have and the knowledge i could learn from the old birds to guide me through, a new phase of work, a new stress beginning and a new level of workload i have to face. I will definitely work harder towards my career path and to get my fats off my body as quickly as possible so i can lose my weight. The only thing for me to pin hope on is on my career to be more successful and to lose more weight and be a fitter guy.

I really didn’t expect our story to end up in this saddening end.

To the only one: get to know what you really want and go achieve the thing that you really want and you cannot loss in your life. I really hope you can know what you want and decide for yourself fight for what you really want.

Goodnight world, a sad sad world.

When you know you love someone so much, you became a fool for her.

When you knew that no matter how much you do, you still lose to someone else, than you should know that walking away is the only solution for both party.

I knew that i receive my karma already, in a bad bad way to hit me back on my face. Didn’t know that revenge and karma can be such a scary thing to me. I’m sorry for doing so much things to cause her unhappy before, i received back all the punishment already .

I know its time to move on and never look back at all the memories and pain anymore..

“You’ll still the one” will always be the music i love the most but it will also be the most painful song that i hear.

I really hope you will know what you want for your life and the guy you truly loves,

I knew i am never that lucky guy.

😦

 

Aside  —  Posted: September 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

Angels Cry

Posted: September 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

‘Cause lighting don’t strike the same place twice
When you and I said goodbye I felt the angels cry
‘Cause true love’s a gift, but we let it drift in a storm
Every night I feel the angels cry

C’mon babe, can’t our love be revived?
Bring it back and we gon’ make it right
I’m on the edge, just tryin’ to survive
As the angels cry

I feel my heart so pain and the pain is still there since Friday night.
I really dislike girl telling me ‘i dont know what i really want’ because chances are, they also don’t even know do they love you not.
I got hit back a deep cut and i take it as my karma lesson as what comes around goes around, i fully understood the pain already.

Just a Fool

Posted: August 31, 2013 in Uncategorized

Hey
I had my heart set on you
But nothing else hurts like you do
Who know that love was so cruel

And I
Waited and waited so long
For someone who never come home
It’s my fault to think you’ll be true

I’m just a fool
For holding on to something that
Is never ever gonna come back
I can’t accept that it’s lost

I should have let it go
Held my tongue
Can’t fight the motion
Cause now everything’s so wrong
I’m thrown

It’s my fault to think you’ll be true
I’m just a fool

I’m just a fool
A fool for you
I’m just a fool